Robert Sheldrake's work regarding
morphogenetic fields- that there is a spiritual blueprint (in the ethers)
before physical manifestation corresponds to the Aboriginal theory that our
origins are of a spiritual nature.
The quickening, the first movements of
the unborn child felt by the mother, has significance in many, many cultures.
The ancient Egyptians, Greeks, Indians and American Indians to the more recent
streams of Theosophy and Spiritual Sciences believe that this is the time the
spirit or soul enters the fetus. In Aboriginal culture, the location in which
the quickening is experienced becomes a power spot for the unborn child within
the context of the Dreaming lore.
The role of the father is as important
as the mother's. In many cultures his activities, diet and participation are
dictated by tradition. Today in modern Western society, he is encouraged to
speak to the unborn child, attend childbirth classes, and to be an active part
of the birth process. Less than two decades ago, men were relegated to waiting
outside the labour ward, unlit cigars in pocket. This turn-around in
participation is a reflection of how views around childbirth have changed.
The image of a pregnant woman, on an
archetypal level, is inherent with possibility. `In full bloom,' `ripe,' even
`a bun in the oven' reflect to some extent the nurturing life-giving qualities
and potentials of `being in the family way.' For others, pregnancy is seen as
being `knocked up,' fat, docile and irrational - there are many connotations.
Generations of repression, of not accepting our bodies, of not seeing the
beauty of the Madonna pregnant, lingers on today. Modern fashions of slim,
lithe models with flat stomachs encourage the fallacy that a woman with
curves, hips and thighs is unattractive.
Owning the body as it is starts from
within. Courage, confidence and self-acceptance are strong spiritual
qualities; they radiate as a charisma and dim society's flaws. Learning to
accept your body, and to love it, can be a challenge of pregnancy - or another
facet of the wonder of life growing deep within.
To be aware of the spirituality of
pregnancy is not complete unless the other aspects of the emotions,
psychological wellbeing and general health are taken into account. These all
form the intricate weft and warp of the rich tapestry of new life developing.
For many women a new baby means giving
up their careers. Women are generally the major caretakers of their newborn
and this stereotyping has it's origins biologically (breastfeeding),
emotionally (bonding) and historically (man the hunter, woman the gatherer).
Today's society, with the changing roles of both sexes and the structural
breakdown of family (tribal) support makes motherhood a much more challenging
vocation than ever before. The rise in Post Natal Depression and single
parents are but a reflection of the underlying issues of being a mother in the
twentieth century.
Motherhood just hasn't the status a
career has. The prolific rise in childcare facilities emphasizes the lack of
input parents have in their children’s lives, whether by choice or necessity.
Yet these very facilities also reveal our lack of support - in the past family
and community all shared the duties of child raising. Mothers anticipating
this avenue for after the birth may have to deal with some issues, perhaps
guilt of having to leave a young baby to work (and enjoying autonomy as a
woman rather than `just' a mother), or on the other hand, resentment of the
child or partner if unable to work. All of these issues can be an underlying
cause of tension in pregnancy, resulting in higher stress levels.
Those in a committed relationship will
find this area coming under focus. The issues around responsibility come to
the fore; both financially and physically (many will never have held a newborn
let
alone changed a nappy!) Coping with the
demands of pregnancy and later a new baby, plus balancing personal needs with
those of the relationship creates a triangle. Priorities change, beginning
during pregnancy through to parenting. Social life, sleeping patterns,
personal needs and sexuality are all structured around and between the needs
of the child. You are no longer `free!' The universal lessons of `going with
the flow,' `letting go,' and `getting on with it' are great to practice at
these times!
Spirituality is living in the NOW,
which is being in the body. Pregnancy is definitely a `being in your body'
experience (literally!) For some women their libido is stronger and pregnancy
can be a time of strengthening the intimate bonds between the couple. Many
women find their need to be nurtured and loved a demanding aspect of their
reaction to pregnancy and a coping mechanism for the ensuing, demanding role
of mothering. As for other women, their loss in libido is as if all their
creative energy is being channeled into the child. A sensitive, openly
communicative approach is important for both the woman and her partner. It
may be an opportunity to express different ways of affection and touch and
explore the relationship in a deeper context.
There is little preparation for the
psychological impact of birth. A percentage of women will miscarry, give birth
to stillborn babies, or will lose their child within the first week or first
months after birth. Still others will birth deformed, brain-damaged, premature
or very ill babies. Many women will be delivered by caesarian or some other
form of (invasive) medical intervention. The impact of any of these can result
in a grieving that is not unlike bereavement. Anger, guilt, apathy,
depression (Post Natal Depression) are some of the possible repercussions.
Pregnancy can be a time of great
physical discomfit and illness, complications and emotional neediness. For
some women (and men) pregnancy is unwanted, the mother will be a sole parent
due to separation or bereavement, or there is a lack of support (family,
friends, etc.) An unstable relationship between the parents or even between
the mother and her mother can contribute to pregnancy related stress. The
fear of losing a child, especially after a miscarriage or abortion, is
another, valid, stress. Dealing with it, for wellbeing on all levels
(emotional, mental, and spiritual) is essential for both mother and baby. The
emotions of fear and anger (stress) sets the body's `flight - fight'
mechanism, coursing adrenalin throughout the system and to the baby via the
placenta.
Dr. Thomas Very (with John Kelly)
author of "The Secret Life of the Unborn Child," writes of the awareness of
the unborn child to the thoughts and emotions of the mother. In reference to
intense or continued maternal anxiety, he states the hormones triggered can
affect the child via personality and learning difficulties. Dealing with
pregnancy-related stress in general involves becoming aware of the options and
steps which can be taken to alleviate it. Being informed, counseling or
talking with a sympathetic and understanding listener can help. Certainly a
more relaxed, peaceful approach will do much for the emerging consciousness of
the child. Having faith, an ultimate (spiritual) test underlies it all.
One of the greatest lessons of
pregnancy is that of surrender- and trust. Surrender to the changes and growth
within your body; and trust that after you've done all you can to positively
aid this growth, all will work out for the best, whatever happens. A tenet of
A.A., "one step at a time," is a positive affirmation to be tempered with
preparation and knowledge.
Physically, tuning into the life-force
or energy of pregnancy through taking `time out' to listen, to be aware and to
wonder at the miracle of it all is, in effect, a combination of meditation and
visualization. This in itself induces a state of peacefulness - a great
antidote to tension, worry and our modern lifestyle. Breathing slows and the
two hemispheres of the brain synchronize promoting a natural stress-release
mechanism through the release of endorphins. The benefits are felt not only
by the mother but by the baby as well.
Mothers can be aware of the flow of
communication between the baby and herself. She speaks primarily through touch
(ie. rubbing stomach), speech and diet. The baby speaks through responsive
movements to her stimulus, and indirectly through dreams. Many cultures
acknowledge this phenomenon as does Dr Verny and aware mothers. Dreams reflect
unresolved issues and fears surrounding the pregnancy and impending birth; and
a surprising number have clarity after the birth as being prophetic! There
has been little research done in this area, but it is certainly a fascinating
study on a personal level keeping a dream journal.
Pregnancy is the beginning of a
life-long bonding. It is also a process of separation which begins with the
first contraction and continues with the growing independence of the child
into adulthood. As a `rite of initiation,' pregnancy acts as a catalyst for
many issues - love, nurturing, stability, sexuality, body image and fears (of
losing control, even fear of death.) Spiritual questions relating to the
existence of a God (or Goddess!) and the miracle of life can come to the fore.
Ultimately pregnancy is a time to learn more about the Self, to develop new
qualities, strengths and sense of identity. The crisis of motherhood is one of
the most life-changing events anyone can experience, and potentially the most
enriching.
Resources:
Baker, Jeannine Parvati. "Conscious
Conception."
